updates on lovelife - nothing. status quo. things still the same. so sad. so depressing. so frustrating. i nearly bought myself a bouquet of sunflowers at jurong point on behalf of dar to tell myself he's really remorseful and he just don't know what to do that's all. i gave him yet another chance. i sms-ed him to ask if he's genuinely apologetic. then i went to the florist and shopped for a bouquet of flowers. but dar didn't reply. i still wanted to go ahead and buy that bouquet of flowers to tell myself he really loves me because he meant to give me that bouquet of self-bought flowers but maybe because he's tired or busy so that's why he hasn't replied my sms till my girlfriend pulled my ear and dragged me to the car. how sad can my life get at times.

updates on career - nothing. status quo. things still the same. so sad. so depressing. so frustrating. partner called and after much discussion, we concluded that none of the units we saw can make it though we were initially contemplating on 2. in the end, we decided to wait abit and see if there are any better ones. patience always has its rewards ma. must learn the spirit from colonel don't-know-who whom invented the kfc original chicken recipe. he approached 125 restaurants before the 126th bought his recipe ok. or from thomas edison whom tried tens of thousands of materials before he invented the light bulb.

updates on family - nothing. status quo. things still the same. so sad. so depressing. so frustrating. rabbit still alive. maid didn't make any blunders today. OHHH, theres something, the chicken in the house just laid an egg. haha... dad was so excited about the first egg that he puts in right in center of the living room as a center piece. duh... its meant to be eaten right. feeling pretty bad also that i was kinda rude to my mom today because i was in a really lousy mood. "sorry mom, though you will never read this, but its the thought that counts right. i love your cooking. i really do."

updates on studies - nothing. status quo. things still the same. so sad. so depressing. so frustrating. i'm still stuck at market risk which is chapter 8 of my bank treasury textbook since last thursday. in case you are wondering if its a very long chapter, its only 12 pages. i have been doing lots of non-productive stuffs like bloghopping.

i have a concentration problem like dap's friend, uzyn. whenever i try to study, i will have this sudden 'ling gan' that someone has sent me an urgent e-mail or someone had left a comment in my blog (not that many people read or respond to my posts anyway) or a buddy has just post an important entry in her blog that i must read.

then i will struggle for the next 2 hours not to do any of the above. with the end conclusion that during the said two hours, nothing is done. i should have check the e-mail, respond to my blog's comments (if any) and read my buddy's post. damn. that will take me less than 2 hours to do.

when i was bloghopping till the wee hours of the morning and came across sites which i think is very interesting. ONE : didi-bear. he's simply so adorable can. TWO : the adventures of pudding. well, this proves not all sq girls (other than my sq friends, haha, must exclude them, they read my blog also, "right jane & char?") are bimbos. not all of them are act stylo only. not all of them are talentless. only some are.

i'm not condemning them. i yearn to fly in fact. though a lot of my girlfriends whom flys always assures me that if i do join them, it would be the worst decision of my life and i would definitely regret it, i always tell them - its not about the job you know, its about the places you can go, the things you can see and the experience you can get.

i do get revolted by their work practices of absolute wicked bantering of new girls by senior girls when any of them share their experiences with me but its part of the culture of sia since ever so long ago. and its not going to change anytime soon so learn to live with it till you are senior lor i guess. theres always pros and cons to any career path one has chosen one la. there is no such thing as a perfect job.

but i will never get pass all those tough entry tests where they are looking out for the X factor. i don't possess any 'x' factor. and i'm like hitting their cut-off age. so depressing. thus, this career option is out. *bleahz*

it was raining heavily in the afternoon. i love such weather unless i have plans for outdoor stuffs like beaching, swimming or rollerblading. i was driving on the way back from jurong point after lunch with tin and joanna when it started to pour heavily.

i really enjoy times in the car alone in the car where all the outside seems like a blur with the heavy rain pitter pattering down on my windscreen and seeing the windscreen wipers flurry action swiping the rainwater away. so hypnotizing.

remember times when i was very young, me and my friends would just play madly in the rain, splashing one another, stomping on water puddles and rushing home to have a hot bath after that. well, now that we are all grown-ups and i don't really enjoy the wet inner beauty getting squishy feeling. kinda...kow wei. you also don't see 25 yr olds prancing on sidewalks during rainy days, do you? its simply so un-25-like. keke... though i may be retarded and moronic at times, the rest of the times i'm normal ok. or i try my best to behave normally. hur hur...

oh well... today is april's fool day. i remember all the practical jokes i used to play in secondary school - changing of classroom with neighbour classroom, turning of the tables so it faces the back instead of the blackboard (yes, my era is blackboard, not whiteboard), telling the teacher she got the wrong class as its not her period and blah blah blah. days of innocent fun. i really hate getting old!!! i'm getting so nostalgia. what's wrong with me man. =P